Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
