I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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