Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
