cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
