He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
