he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's never too late to be topless.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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