Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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