The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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