Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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