WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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