you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
