nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
