Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
