fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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