Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
