Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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