Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
