About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Randomize
