dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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