She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
