we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm bleeding and have questions
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