just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
