Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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