She's JV to your varsity
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
