i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
