Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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