found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
