i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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