somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
