Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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