Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
