you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
