Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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