I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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