when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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