You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
