so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
