the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
