haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
