You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
