Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
