maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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