the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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