Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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