thus making me awesome and them whores
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
