If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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