So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
