he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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