quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
