My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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