i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
