Dual....:-)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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