i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
