I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
